i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
