Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
