like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
