That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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