he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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