Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
