I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I had to cum in my sink.
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