he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
