you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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