Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
