This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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