Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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