Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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