I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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