i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
