Moan for me like Helen Keller
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Hippo gnu deer
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
