he thought i was a dude.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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