I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
