Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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