So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
