when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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