dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
