i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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