my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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