I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
