you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
