i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
