Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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