bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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