You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
