He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
