The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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