exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
