hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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