can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
