We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
