we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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