@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
