I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize