OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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