just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
