3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Couch. On fire.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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