When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
send nudes
from the living room?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
