I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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