I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
