he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
