If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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