What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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