it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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