so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
