well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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