her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
