One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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