you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
