It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
