Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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