morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
should my penis look like a turkey
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
