i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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