Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
