i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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