My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
