and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize