i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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