I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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