Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
